IC CONTACT

[allgotrabies]

Hey, it's Annie, you know what to do.

Comments

[madaboutit]

"Mhm," he answers noncommittally.

"That idea involve a still?" Sweeney knows she was thinking of something easier, but it doesn't mean her aspirations hadn't broadened since then.

[allgotrabies]

"Yeah it does," she says with a little note of triumph. "It's going to be a whole operation eventually. I think you're gonna like it."

[madaboutit]

"Operation?" Yeah...nothing about this sounds like a potential train wreck. He blinks slowly.

"Ya takin' on staff or some shit?"

[allgotrabies]

"Not till I'm off the Barge. I never had a real job, this one seems like it'd at least be interesting." She smirks. "I see your doubt, sir."

[madaboutit]

There's something about being called on it that makes his lips tighten.

"I'm reservin' judgement," he clarifies. Which is also the truth, but it doesn't make her assessment any less valid.

Sweeney shifts his fingers slightly in the grass, taking comfort their texture during the beat before he continues.

"Plannin' ta fuck off sooner rather than later then, eh?"

[allgotrabies]

She looks away and lights a cigarette.

"Trying to be optimistic." It isn't working, if her tone is anything to go by. There's not an ounce of her usual lighthearted energy. "If I let myself think about it I'll just...quit trying."

[madaboutit]

He cocks his head as he watches her in study.

"Think 'bout goin', or thinkin' 'bout stayin'?" Both of them carry plenty of reasons to stop trying to move forward.

[allgotrabies]

"I had to stop going after my deal. My old one. But I've got other fuck ups I could fix if I could just get my act together." She pushes her hair back. "So I think I'll stay. But I am one fucking terrible warden. I think I'd just screw up an inmate." She glances at him. "I'm not like, looking for pity. It's just stuff that's been stuck in my head for a long time. Since before I even came back, some of it."

[madaboutit]

He takes a slow drag, his gaze lingering on her in dry observation.

"That's good, 'cause pity ain't my stock an' trade."

Sweeney lets his attention drop to his cigarette. He mulls the words for a second or two before continuing, keeping his eyes low.

"Do you want to fix other people?" There's no judgement. He just knows some things look better on paper than in practice.

[allgotrabies]

Her laugh is a short, surprised, cynical bark and she seems to wonder if he's joking. Then she takes a drag.

"You can't fix people. You can't fix another person. I guess that's how it can look, but I never came here thinking I'd be able to take someone and like, stitch them up or unbreak them."

[madaboutit]

Sweeney's hand lifts instinctively, defense of his words implied.

"Yer the one that brought up un-fuckin' folk. Generally speakin', I've found cunts tend ta stay cunts, no matter what ya do." Grimnir's a fucking prime example.

He shrugs and takes another drag. "Just seems like yer on the fence as ta if you actually want ta be a warden, or if ya just feel like yer obligated ta be." Again, no judgement, just observation.

[allgotrabies]

"I meant more that I could untorture someone." She flicks some ash and watches it land. "He'd be fucked up still but by something else. Not something I did to him. So I guess...yeah. An obligation. If I can take back some of the worst things I ever did, it's hard to tell myself to just up and go if I ever get free."

She takes another drag, slower. "Would you stay? Will you?"

[madaboutit]

Muted surprise lifts Sweeney's brow as the line of questioning turns to him. He gives a half-shrug and taps his ash. He feels like he's constantly having this conversation with everyone he knows. They never seem to like the answer.

"Fuck if I know." It's short and succint. He knows well enough that it's insufficient. "Nothin' ta go back to," he follows, fighting to keep recent revelations at arm's length so he doesn't slip off the edge again. "An' yes, I do know I can go anywhere." He licks his lip and takes another drag.

"But fuck, I ain't aimin' ta graduate or anythin', so I'm not frettin' on it." With a knowing tip of his head, Sweeney adds, "Pretty sure I shouldn't be responsible fer un-fuckin' folk either."

[allgotrabies]

She could say a thing or two about being glad he can't un-fuck her, but she only says it with a smirk.

Then she shakes her head. "I wasn't gonna say that. Who cares if we can go anywhere? I can't go home. I don't want to go to these places where they need superheroes just to keep the streets safe for people to go grocery shopping. I grew up in a shitty neighborhood, I'm already hunted down by humans, and that was bad enough but I could still go to a movie without someone burning it down around me with their laserbeam eyes. No one's world sounds like a place I want to be."

She has a place to go now, but only if Godric stays until she's graduated. Since he's not on the ship right now she's struggling to believe in that future, so she's sticking to what she does know.

[madaboutit]

He shrugs and taps his ash before pulling another drag.

"My understandin' is those are the options. Wardenin' or fuckin' off." Sweeney's not particularly keen on doing either at this point. There's just too much shit on his plate here, and nothing to eat back where he came from.

[allgotrabies]

Those are the only ones she has heard of. She wracks her brain for any other example and comes up empty. "I don't blame you for not rushing to the graduation line." If Godric's door disappears, it will take her last reason for trying, too.

"Have people said you could come to their world? Or are they just selling you a cruise to some other world without saying which one?"

[madaboutit]

"Oh fuck no," he confirms with a shake of his head. Sweeney lifts his cigarette to slide it in an arc of illustration.

"Just 'anywhere'. He rolls his eyes. "Like ambiguity's a fuckin' sellin' point."

[allgotrabies]

She laughs. "That's the thing, for them it is. They're all invincible and saving the world and winning all the time. They lose? They come here to win instead."

[madaboutit]

"Mm." The sound is joined by a shrug. People are such sacks of shit. He can't guess how many more times he's going to have to dance with that fucking topic.

"How 'bout you? Lookin' at any cruise ships?"

[allgotrabies]

"Where would I go?" She leans back on her elbows as if to seriously consider the question. But, again, nothing comes to mind. "At least at home I know who's going to try to skin me. Some other world, some alien I don't know how to read or fight... nah."

[madaboutit]

Sweeney inhales slowly as he considers, then exhales enough to be able to follow it with an immediate puff. "Yer people. Yer pack. None of them got homes ya want ta go to? Or they all stayin' fer work?"

[allgotrabies]

The topic hurts. This is why she's always the one asking questions, really.

"I don't know how long they'll stay. Connor's world sounds like a real hellhole, I hope he gets out. Steve's a superhero, he'll never go anywhere but his world and there's that 'world always ending' problem. And Godric... I can go to his world. But," and she's sure there will be relief for him to know this so she keeps her tone even. "He's not here now. And he might or might not come back. So a girl's gotta look at the worst case scenario and just go with that, right?"

[madaboutit]

Ah.

Realization comes and he offers a faint nod. He's not skittish about the topic, as long as it stays on her. Really, everything should be on her.

Well. Maybe not everything.

Sweeney shifts slightly, fully aware that his memories of sensations can still be perfectly effective in making sitting less comfortable. He does his best to dismiss them.

"Hurts ta be left behind, doesn't it?" The words are empathetic, not jabbing at her situation. It's a simple truth he's far too fucking aware of.

[allgotrabies]

She isn't bitter when she asks, "Does it end any other way? Ever?" She's seen no evidence, anywhere, that disproves this belief. "Life's just rebuilding. A lot of rebuilding."

She understands why he's so fucking tired. She may not experience the depth of it, but she's at the point where she sees no point in building anything permanent.

[madaboutit]

The expression on his face implies the obvious answer. Of course it doesn't.

Something occurs to him, and Sweeney cocks his head to offer an alternative. "Sometimes ya go first." He taps the center of his chest with two fingers, mindful not to burn his clothing.

"Took a spear." That's all the clarification that's really required. For all the talk they've had of her life, he can't recall her mentioning how she got here in the first place. He's pretty sure she started as an inmate, so that doesn't bode well for the tale of her arrival.