He can't help but smile as she walks through it. "That leaves ya all the options," Sweeney teases gently.
"An' we haven't talked 'bout aesthetics, obviously." A small wink caps the thought. "Some time yer in town fer a bit, we can have a look 'round." His brow lifts with a partial shrug, as much as the pillow allows.
"'nless ya think there'll be a town where those buffalo are."
"Just us and the delicious buffalo," she shakes her head sadly. "But I know a great floating market on the way there. If they don't have pipes I'll eat my hat."
Getting him to laugh is still as much a delight now as it always has been, she finds, and even feels a touch of pride about it. "Oh! D'you have the bead?" She can braid it in while they're lying here enjoying the night.
For a moment he's not sure if she gave it to him. His brow furrows as he tries to remember. Sweeney rubs small circles with his thumb over the tip of two fingers, like he's trying to pull up the shape. He's half-surprised when he does and it manifests.
He offers it to her. "Sec," he requests, having nestled his cigarette between his lips to free his other hand. It produces a fine-tooth ivory comb far easier. He presents it to her as well.
"This is so pretty," she croons, because she loves when he shows her old things from back in the Hoard. She's always curious but rarely asks about them; he's as likely as not to remember the answers, and often when he does remember it's nothing he wants to recall.
She takes her time brushing his hair because, well, he did give her a comb and he is relaxing here naked. Perfect time for it.
"Have you tried one of those bubblegum fish yet? I hear about 'em all the time."
There's a guilty pleasure at her combing his hair. There's lots of complicated baggage that the tingling of his scalp evokes, but it also has a clear physiological effect on him. Goosebumps spread at random intervals, and his breath catches on more than one occasion. Mostly, he just enjoys it with heavy lids.
"Hmm?" Sweeney plucks back to the present when she makes her inquiry. "Not that I'm aware of. Though..." His brow furrows briefly. "Now that ya mention it, that fish stew was a bit off. I just f'gured it'd sat out too long."
"If we end up eating cotton candy buffalo I'm gonna be so mad."
She leans down to kiss the corner of his mouth and then sets back to trying to bring back those goosebumps. Even after she braids in the bead she changes from the comb to her fingers, soothing and probing as his scalp as she lets his hair run between her fingers.
He smiles lazily at her kiss. The more she fidgets with his hair, the more sensitive he becomes, and she manages to earn a twitch or two. His throat rattles in pleasured purrs and murmurs. Sweeney's mind starts to wander. It's not ideal.
Images start to overlap. There are faint whiffs of music, like someone's listening down the hall, partial melodies and no words. His brow furrows slightly. The sensation in his scalp is no less pleasurable, it just carries with it some heavy baggage.
She's unaware at first. She's watching the water shadows on the ceiling, feeling the gentle rock of the boat, enjoying the softness of his hair. But she does look down and she does see his expression.
The question yanks him back, but it's an sudden, unpleasant trip. He abruptly catches her by the wrist; it's so unexpected that his eyes haven't fully managed to open by the time he has. The grip is tight but not cruel. More panic than aggression.
When he does manage to get his eyes open, he has to blink several times to get focus. He's confused by the ceiling and it reads in his brow, but when he looks to her hand and he follows it back to her face, the concern ebbs.
"Right." The word is barely breath, clearly more for himself than it is for her.
He swallows and gives a tight shake of his head to assuage her concern.
"Just--been gettin' worse. Sometimes." He shakes his head again and places her hand against the center of his chest.
His lips press a little, regretting the answer he has to give. The head shake is miniscule.
"Nah. Just...is." Sweeney takes a slow breath while his gaze drifts towards the center of the room. "Like always."
He has to acknowledge how good he's been for so long. Just free in the fullest sense of the word. Sweeney should have know that wasn't going to be an 'always' thing. He tries to assure himself that he has enough of himself enough of the time for it to be ok.
"I'm doin' what I can." He tries to focus on the needle in his skin, the raise of it after. The ache in its newness. Sweeney would touch it now, but his arm is around her, and that's good too.
"Hm?" The sound is barely hummed before he's continuing. Sweeney had it on his mind after all, but more the act than the word itself.
His gaze darts down, even though he can't really see it, and then returns to her eyes.
"Helpin' me come home," he answer with a faint hint of...shyness? Something like that. Something soft. He tries to push it away before anything like embarrassment sets in.
"Ya know. Like how sailors have sparrows. Birds mean yer close ta shore." His free hand gestures slightly towards her chest.
"Ain't a place," he answers easily enough, even though that still bothers him a little. "It's bein' safe. Bein' myself." Something so impossible, no matter how hard he tries.
He casts a sideways glance her way. "The rest of myselves."
Sweeney sighs and looks back to the ceiling. "Not sure which one I am. Which one I'm s'pposed ta be. Ta be me." There's touch of sadness, but it's mostly resignation.
"All of them," he confirms with a sigh. It's more to the universe than at her directly.
The kiss is a surprise, a nice one. Sweeney's hand lifts to cup the back of her head, though it's in encouragement not hunger. This isn't so bad. Having something for the times when he's not lost. He misses that in a way he can't really explain, even to himself.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-02-01 04:10 am (UTC)"An' we haven't talked 'bout aesthetics, obviously." A small wink caps the thought. "Some time yer in town fer a bit, we can have a look 'round." His brow lifts with a partial shrug, as much as the pillow allows.
"'nless ya think there'll be a town where those buffalo are."
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 04:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 04:23 am (UTC)"Well, then I'd be havin' ta get ya a new hat an' a pipe, so let's hope that have somethin' that suits ya."
Another twist of his wrist and the pipe's tucked back into the Hoard, and he pulls a drag from his cigarette.
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Date: 2022-02-01 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 04:48 am (UTC)He offers it to her. "Sec," he requests, having nestled his cigarette between his lips to free his other hand. It produces a fine-tooth ivory comb far easier. He presents it to her as well.
"Save us both the struggle."
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 05:18 am (UTC)She takes her time brushing his hair because, well, he did give her a comb and he is relaxing here naked. Perfect time for it.
"Have you tried one of those bubblegum fish yet? I hear about 'em all the time."
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 05:24 am (UTC)"Hmm?" Sweeney plucks back to the present when she makes her inquiry. "Not that I'm aware of. Though..." His brow furrows briefly. "Now that ya mention it, that fish stew was a bit off. I just f'gured it'd sat out too long."
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 05:32 am (UTC)She leans down to kiss the corner of his mouth and then sets back to trying to bring back those goosebumps. Even after she braids in the bead she changes from the comb to her fingers, soothing and probing as his scalp as she lets his hair run between her fingers.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:01 am (UTC)Images start to overlap. There are faint whiffs of music, like someone's listening down the hall, partial melodies and no words. His brow furrows slightly. The sensation in his scalp is no less pleasurable, it just carries with it some heavy baggage.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 02:23 pm (UTC)"You okay?"
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 05:57 pm (UTC)When he does manage to get his eyes open, he has to blink several times to get focus. He's confused by the ceiling and it reads in his brow, but when he looks to her hand and he follows it back to her face, the concern ebbs.
"Right." The word is barely breath, clearly more for himself than it is for her.
He swallows and gives a tight shake of his head to assuage her concern.
"Just--been gettin' worse. Sometimes." He shakes his head again and places her hand against the center of his chest.
"I'm here. With you."
He needs to be. What if he gets lost again?
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:01 pm (UTC)"It's there a pattern to it?"
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:10 pm (UTC)"Nah. Just...is." Sweeney takes a slow breath while his gaze drifts towards the center of the room. "Like always."
He has to acknowledge how good he's been for so long. Just free in the fullest sense of the word. Sweeney should have know that wasn't going to be an 'always' thing. He tries to assure himself that he has enough of himself enough of the time for it to be ok.
"I'm doin' what I can." He tries to focus on the needle in his skin, the raise of it after. The ache in its newness. Sweeney would touch it now, but his arm is around her, and that's good too.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:12 pm (UTC)A reminder, he'd said, and she looks down at his ribs. "Why a bird?"
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:22 pm (UTC)His gaze darts down, even though he can't really see it, and then returns to her eyes.
"Helpin' me come home," he answer with a faint hint of...shyness? Something like that. Something soft. He tries to push it away before anything like embarrassment sets in.
"Ya know. Like how sailors have sparrows. Birds mean yer close ta shore." His free hand gestures slightly towards her chest.
"Guessin' it may be somethin' like yer compass."
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 06:41 pm (UTC)"What stops you from being yourself?"
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Date: 2022-02-01 06:51 pm (UTC)Sweeney sighs and looks back to the ceiling. "Not sure which one I am. Which one I'm s'pposed ta be. Ta be me." There's touch of sadness, but it's mostly resignation.
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Date: 2022-02-01 06:56 pm (UTC)Or maybe they're all him, and all equally real. She's never been sure about Gerard, if he's a reflection of some long hidden part of Sweeney.
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Date: 2022-02-01 07:00 pm (UTC)"I've been them all. They're all me." All the time.
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Date: 2022-02-01 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 07:15 pm (UTC)"There's no decidin'." The explanation is flat. "Just...am." And even that's not guaranteed.
"Likely ta be a time I become--fuck, I dunno. Somethin' else." Not like a Breach or a Flood. Not a memory. Something new.
It's daunting, to say the least.
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Date: 2022-02-01 07:20 pm (UTC)She leans down again, kisses him. At least she can offer a present moment,a tangible one.
no subject
Date: 2022-02-01 07:28 pm (UTC)The kiss is a surprise, a nice one. Sweeney's hand lifts to cup the back of her head, though it's in encouragement not hunger. This isn't so bad. Having something for the times when he's not lost. He misses that in a way he can't really explain, even to himself.
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