allgotrabies | IC CONTACT

He shrugs. All of those things are true, and yet don't make the whole of the picture.

"An' a Bible's just ink on paper. Fuck--dollar bill is too." An example for a more secular mind. "Somethin's just 'til it ain't." This is not helping. "Belief. Intent. Makin' things real 'cause they are when you believe 'nough."

Sweeney takes a drag and looks back down to her.

"You tell me. How'd they make ya feel?"

"Surprised." That's the first reaction. "I've never got flowers from anyone before. So I felt special and then when I saw it was him I felt guilty."

The beat is fleeting but noticeable.

"Who'd ya think they were from?" There's no accusation, surely she had no reason to suspect they'd be from some fucking ponce without a body of his own. He's just genuinely curious.

She shakes her head. "I thought they were for Godric at first." Not that it's something she pictures Archer doing, but at least Godric has someone who would leave gifts.

Right. The boyfriend.

Sweeney does his best not to roll his eyes.

"So yer not used ta gettin' gifts from fellas, or just not flowers?" It'd make sense if she's not into romance. Kinda wasted if yer just looking for a good fuck.

"Both?" Unless one counts scoring meth or heroin to share, gifts aren't something she's had a lot of either. "Plus it was around his birthday, so I just thought..."

This isn't the point. "Have you lost more time since then? Like, woken up somewhere you didn't go to sleep, that kind of thing?"

The line of thought is freed by her dismissal, and he steps back to turn to the flowers again. Sweeney takes a long drag and twists to flick the butt off into the distance behind them.

"Maybe. Not somethin' I can e'er speak ta with full certainty." He shrugs, studying the blossoms. "In my cabin more than I mean ta be." Not that that'll inherently bad, just unexpected. Still plenty logical that would be a place he'd return to, even without the fucking Frenchie.

"Well, we can't figure out how much he's around if we don't know where you go and what you're supposed to remember," she says thoughtfully. "And you probably don't want other people to know about him. So maybe we should just come hang out here at night, see what you can remember about the day."

"Just a check in, right?" His brow lifts, playfully dubious. "Ya ain't lookin' ta spend e'er night with me or anything." There's an implied question.

That'd be bad for several reasons.

"Who, me?" Giving him her best playful, mock-innocent smile. "Would I do that?"

They can't get into too much trouble here in the Greenhouse anyway, it sees too much traffic.

His tongue rubs against the roof of his mouth. He most certainly would not give enough of a shit about getting caught.

"I know what ya would do is dance 'round the fuckin' question." Sweeney's tone remains light, but it's clear he still expects an answer.

Her eyes sober; there's still a small smile, though. "If you want to spend the night with me I won't say 'no'." He could pull her behind that bush over there and she might nudge him to take her somewhere with a door, but it still wouldn't be a 'no'.

"But if all you want to do is a check in, that's all we'll do. It's your speed."

Sweeney accepts her answer readily, the ease of his expression speaking to it. It still takes him a moment to consider, although he knows it shouldn't.

"I think...spendin' the night together's likely ta lead only one place," he answer soft but with some amount of resolve.

"Don't s'spect I'd be able ta keep choosin' ta be a good man." Part of him still can't believe he's saying the words out loud. Not when he still wants her. Not when he knows the comfort it'd bring bein' inside her.

"I think we both know that." The observation is gentle, one of empathy and not chastisement. They're together in this boat.

He has to give other things a chance to work, or he'll never be anything better than what he is.

"It would," she agrees, with a little bit of regret. She's never seen much point to self-control, which is why the only thing keeping her from taking him back to her cabin is that he wants to try something else.

She licks her lips, draws herself up a little taller. "So, a check-in. We'll have a smoke, we'll talk. And then we'll go back to our own places. ...God this rationing thing is going to kill me, I have to get back down to one cigarette a day."

"Can't 'magine Connor'd complain," he offers wryly. Such a strange man.

The topic is moved past without hesitation. "Seems a good course. Not sure it'll do much good, but s'ppose it don't hurt ta try." Something occurs to him, and he's quick to make an addition.

"An' you'll let me know if that cunt keeps sendin' ya shit." Not so much a question as a confirmation.

It makes her grin; Connor usually always makes her grin.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you. And if you start remembering anything he does...tell me, too?"

His lips instinctively tighten. The tension passes, but it brings a more complicated set of feelings. This situation is just so fucked up. He doesn't want to need this plan. It makes him long for being crazy of the kind he was before he was here.

"I'll do my best ta."

Her expression softens and she wishes, not for the first time, that she had something to offer. Anything, besides the one thing she can offer that he can't take. It isn't the first time someone has sworn off fucking her to be a better person, but it's the first time they haven't cut her out of their lives and it leaves her uncertain.

"Okay. And you know how to find me. If..." If he needs anything which circles right back around. "I should go."

"Alright."

He doesn't particularly want her to leave, but there's no purpose in her staying, and that only puts them back where they always end up, her with her neck touching and him with tight trousers.

Fuck me.

Something does occur to him to add. His voice is low.

"No matter how fucked this gets, it ain't my goal ta hurt ya. Not in any way ya don't wanna be."

She looks at him, feels her eyes stinging, and takes two steps forward to kiss him hard. To keep herself from crying maybe, or just to let herself feel gratitude for something she'd only hoped was true.

"I don't want to hurt you either," she murmurs, and she really, really should go now. Now.

Now that is something he hadn't expected. Sweeney's back coils, instinctively drawing his shoulders back from the unanticipated touching, and giving him that moment to understand if he needs to throw a fist forward.

However, the tingling warmth of her lips on his quickly reminds him the act only means one thing. His body's been fighting his maybe-need-probably-want for most of the day, and now there's a swift and overwhelming escalation. No amount of thinking can override that shit.

One hand curls around her shoulder blade, the other catches her by the back of the head to yank her against him, his mouth hungry on hers. Fuck, why does he ever try to deny himself? This, something so desperately craved.

They're going to need to meet in public, she thinks, maybe around all the nocturnal citizens on the Barge. Maybe somewhere very, very public because otherwise how is she supposed to keep herself off of him?

It's only when she hears footsteps out in the hall that she breaks the kiss and pulls her hands back from raking her nails down his back through his shirt.

"Sorry-" She's not sorry. "I'm not trying to derail you being a good person I just-"

Sweeney gives no fucks about where they are or who might see. In the moment, there is only her and the warmth of her and the rush of his blood and need.

As she starts to move away, he catches her by both biceps, his grip tight to hold her there.

"Stay." The word rattles low, but it's not a command. He just wants it. So badly. The desperate longing reads in his eyes.

Just. Say. Yes.

She kisses him again, in one nimble move has her legs around him, and if they're fast and if she's quiet, she won't have to kill anyone for interrupting.

...Except the one person who very likely will interrupt is, "Gerard. What if he, what do you want me to do if he-?"

That fucking Frenchie. He's something Sweeney most decidedly doesn't want to be thinking about right now. His answer is broken up by wanton kisses, his words pressed hard into her mouth.

"Shut. The fuck. Up."

He drops to one knee, trying to pull her down with him so he can urge her to lie on the path.

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