allgotrabies | IC CONTACT

"I want to be with good people. Dorian doesn't have to be an asshole to you," he points out. "But I did talk to him and I hope it doesn't happen again."

He sighs.

"But Sweeney took offense to me being with Dorian still, even after he told me what I did."

Which Godric - hates. Not because Godric is afraid to drop someone for Annie, but because he spent the better part of a year in prison, relying solely on him.

"He's protective of me," which is a revelation to her and she knows it shouldn't be. It just had never occurred to her before that he is or might be.

"I'll talk to him."

"Don't," he tells her softly. "It's something he and I will work through or we won't. But there's no reason for you to be involved other than to know."

"I'm sorry you had to take blame for Dorian." She tucks her arm over him. "You don't make his decisions. But...thanks for talking to Dorian about it."

He snorts. "I did not have to take the blame for anyone," he points out. "I did not take the blame for Dorian, no matter what he thinks."

But he is worried. "You said he's been having good and bad days?"

"More bad than good." She exhales slowly, a faint tremor in it. "I don't know what's happening to him. Gerard is back."

He runs a hand along her back.

"He is having a difficult time here. Not adjusting well."

"I don't know why. Things are so good here. We're free here." She has bad days herself, but she never loses sight of that fact. "I don't know what to do."

"I don't know if there is anything to do about it," he tells her. "The only thing I can do is make him forget. And that is the last thing he needs."

She realizes she's holding her breath and takes one, shallow. "You can do that? I didn't know that."

"It's called glamouring," he tells her. "And it's not a power that I ever employ without consent." He closes his eyes.

"How long does it last?" She shouldn't want this. She won't ask. She just wants to know.

He sits up and looks down at her in the darkness. "It's permanent," he says. "Unless the memory is asked back. Glamour is used for memory manipulation and for - making someone do something."

Who would she be if she didn't remember her boys? If Palo had never existed, if she didn't remember ever leaving California?

"If we were still on the Barge," she can tell him this because it's Godric. "I would've wanted you to do that. Make me forget."

"I know," he says softly. "It seems like an easy way out, but it isn't the best way."

"I probably would've asked anyway. But if I went back to being that girl, the human one, here I wouldn't make it." She's fought hard to survive here and however bleak things seem sometimes, she has put the work in and she likes herself for having done so.

"You are who you are because of what has happened, what you've been through. To erase all of that would change you," he agrees, holding fast to her, glad that she's since changed her mind. "Did I ever tell you what Jedao gave me for Christmas? Before he left?"

"No," she looks up at him. Her tone turns fond. "But since it was Jedao it was probably perfect."

"It was my memories," he explains. "The ones I had lost. He had the Admiral put them into little rocks that I could break and - I would get the memory. Not all of them, obviously. But - important ones."

"Have you broken them all?"

"Most of them. I was going through them slowly before - the crash." He doesn't even know if they exist anymore.

"We'll get them back." Somehow. "D'you want to talk about what you remembered?"

"They weren't terrible. I remember - my mother. I remember fishing with her. And my brother teaching me how," he explains. "I remember how it smelled and felt the first time I caught a fish."

"I can kinda picture you," she grins. A tiny Godric with a fish on the line, his brother probably nearby and proud.

Godric laughs, trying to imagine what she pictures. "I had wild hair," he tells her. "I remember looking at my reflection in the water. It grew too long and my brother was always braiding it for me so it wouldn't get snagged on the brambles and bushes."

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allgotrabies - 2022-02-20 01:00 (UTC) - Expand

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