Godric takes a moment, just breathing her in, breathing it all in. "I'm going home for a moment. Taking my own perspective. Taking my own...punishment, I think."
"But you're dead at home." With the pumps and the echoes in this room it's not a quiet place, but she can hear only the panicked beating of her own heart right now.
She knows in that awful moment nothing is going to comfort her or make this any better until he's back. And that's not his fault but it's also not hers and she doesn't know what to do--so she swims closer and takes his hand and doesn't, does not, cry.
That question stabs his heart as swiftly as any stake.
"Of course," he answers quickly. "Of course. God, Annie, I'm not leaving you forever." Ignoring that he's still in his clothes, he drops into the water and pulls her into his arms. "I hurt someone, Annie. There have to be consequences for me, as much as anyone else."
"Wander. Like I did once. The world thinks me dead, so I can go wherever I want to go. I need to know if what I did was because of biology, or if it was because I need to keep a tighter grip on myself," he explains.
Going alone still seems, to her, like a death sentence. But she knows him and knows it might clear his head and give him an answer to whatever questions he's grappling with.
"Promise me if you ever are supposed to be dead but you aren't, you will come find me right then to say you're alive. I'll keep your secret." But she thinks of Eric, unaware that Godric didn't burn to death, and she hurts for him. Even if he is an asshole, she can't think of many things more painful than losing Godric.
"Okay. I guess the ship won't fall apart too bad in just a few days," trying to joke but then just holding him tighter.
"When you get back... If you've figured it out maybe you could help me figure out some consequences for me. Too. Because," and this is important, "I don't want to kill anyone again. Maybe ever if I don't have to."
Which is down to his influence, at the end of the day.
"Yeah. Yeah, if ... You can think of anything. That isn't me not being able to be around you." She fidgets a little with her fingers in his shirt, across his shoulders.
"I don't want people to think anyone's playing favorites with me."
He thinks a moment. "I think you need to talk to Jacobi," he tells her honestly. "As much as I - despise the very idea of it. He was the one you wronged. Talk to him, like you did to Quill."
"To be clear, that isn't the punishment. That's just the first step," he says evenly, reaching up to take her hand. "And - I don't think I will ever like him, either."
He hauls himself back up to the side of the pool and takes off his shirt to wring out.
"Not necessarily. He might feel your punishment should be to jump off the ship and we can't have that."
He shrugs. "But this place is too small for you to ignore him forever. Unless that's what he wants. But we won't know until we find out. And I doubt he will approach you. At least - I would think him smarter than that."
The comment about the tattoos has him smiling. "And yes. We can do that when I'm back."
"Okay." A slow breath. "Okay. I'll do that and when you come back, I'll tell you about it."
She scooches over and rests her chin on his knee. "I found a poem that made me think of you. And the tattoo. I've been reading." And she is so quietly proud of herself for it. "You wanna hear?"
"We can build a tree-house in the pine trees We can keep our secrets buried underneath Wild flowers crushed between your fingers Clinging to the wild things that raised us
Compass points you home Calling out from the east Compass points you anywhere Closer to me
If we make it out alive, from the depths of the sea Compass points you anywhere Closer to me
Where you are, I will be Miles high, in the deep Where you are, I will be Anywhere, in between.
It made me think of when you decided on that...what'd you call it? The compass symbol?"
She climbs out and sits by him. "I'm gonna go shower. And sleep." She doesn't want to be awake when he leaves. "You shouldn't go home smelling like chlorine though. Go home smelling like that soap in the bathroom."
He takes her hand, understanding her reasoning. "Go sleep," he tells her. "I will go to Archer's for the rest of the evening." There isn't much time left anyway. "And I won't be gone long."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
He reaches out a hand to her.
no subject
"Are you coming back?"
no subject
"Of course," he answers quickly. "Of course. God, Annie, I'm not leaving you forever." Ignoring that he's still in his clothes, he drops into the water and pulls her into his arms. "I hurt someone, Annie. There have to be consequences for me, as much as anyone else."
no subject
no subject
no subject
"Promise me if you ever are supposed to be dead but you aren't, you will come find me right then to say you're alive. I'll keep your secret." But she thinks of Eric, unaware that Godric didn't burn to death, and she hurts for him. Even if he is an asshole, she can't think of many things more painful than losing Godric.
no subject
no subject
"When you get back... If you've figured it out maybe you could help me figure out some consequences for me. Too. Because," and this is important, "I don't want to kill anyone again. Maybe ever if I don't have to."
Which is down to his influence, at the end of the day.
no subject
no subject
"I don't want people to think anyone's playing favorites with me."
no subject
no subject
"But I'll do that."
no subject
He hauls himself back up to the side of the pool and takes off his shirt to wring out.
no subject
"Let's do my tattoo when you come back." She nudges him. "But old fashioned not with one of those electric needles."
no subject
He shrugs. "But this place is too small for you to ignore him forever. Unless that's what he wants. But we won't know until we find out. And I doubt he will approach you. At least - I would think him smarter than that."
The comment about the tattoos has him smiling. "And yes. We can do that when I'm back."
no subject
She scooches over and rests her chin on his knee. "I found a poem that made me think of you. And the tattoo. I've been reading." And she is so quietly proud of herself for it. "You wanna hear?"
no subject
no subject
"We can build a tree-house in the pine trees
We can keep our secrets buried underneath
Wild flowers crushed between your fingers
Clinging to the wild things that raised us
Compass points you home
Calling out from the east
Compass points you anywhere
Closer to me
If we make it out alive, from the depths of the sea
Compass points you anywhere
Closer to me
Where you are, I will be
Miles high, in the deep
Where you are, I will be
Anywhere, in between.
It made me think of when you decided on that...what'd you call it? The compass symbol?"
no subject
no subject
no subject