His first thought is, of course Jedao, but he's not sure if that's true any longer. Jedao's been out for so long that he's not sure if he would want that any longer.
"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
He laughs, deep in his chest. "And I do not wish to make things complicated for you," he admits. "I think we made this decision for each other without actually talking it through. Normally, we are better in step."
Godric grins. "I'm certain he would think us both mad for admitting that aloud," he tells her. "But I have been enamored with him since I first met him. I realized very early on that it would never work. But he is rather handsome."
"In another universe, we could have been his very first threesome," she muses. "He's really hot. And he's just been so good to me. Good for me, since I was demoted. I don't think I'd be as okay as I am now if he hadn't reached out."
"I am relieved to hear that," he admits. "I was so frightened when you were demoted that you would be ostracized. Or that no one would understand. It is a relief to know otherwise. That you are welcomed. Loved. Embraced."
"I thought I would be, too. But weirdly? I was a little mad when no one else was." Which is why she'd asked Sweeney to punch her a few dozen times. "I'm past that now. I think I can get better. Better than I was, I mean."
"Better than you were," he repeats, thoughtfully. "That's all I ask, Annie. You know that, don't you? That you are simply better than you were. That you make the choices you need."
"It feels like a lot of the time I make the wrong choices." She turns onto her back, looking up at him, and the ceiling. "Do I seem better than I was though? A little?"
She thinks about that. "I broke down when Sariss was training me. But..." She should not feel any pride about this next part but, "I did fight back against mind controlled B. I tried to help us. You. And that's more than what I've done before."
"I know," he tells her, not wanting to relive that memory. "And I think that's good. That you did that. That you fought when you wouldn't have before. That was a good decision."
"You don't need to distract me from sad memories, Annie," he tells her. "Sit up, sit with me a moment. Let me live in them for a while. It's the only way to learn from them."
She does, holding onto him lightly against the mild dizziness she still has. "I've never been very good at that. Just letting the bad memories be bad," she confesses, so she watches him, sits with him, listens.
"I have to set the stage first, okay, so. I've been saving it for something special. It's a gown--a real gown. I never wore one before. I never even tried one on before. She made it with magic and rose petals."
She bites her lip against the thrill of wearing something she had frankly always wanted, only found it's even better now, and gets up. She has to carefully make her way to her room, and it takes extra time to get it on. But she makes her way back to him wearing the pink and purple gown Ulla had crafted. When she moves it still smells of roses and orchids.
Usually, Godric is a fairly composed person. He's able to contain his emotions, keep them down, let them sit somewhere safe until he's able to express them appropriately.
But seeing her in that dress, looking exactly as beautiful as he's always imagined her, breaks that. He grins.
"Oh, Annie," he breathes. "You look exquisite." He stands up, blanket wrapped around him, and can't help but reach out to touch it. "It's beautiful."
She takes that little half-step closer so he can see that it is made of petals, that the fabric still feels like them but stronger. "I never went anywhere I needed a gown, I don't even know what on the Barge would have that I could wear it too but sometimes I put it on just to feel like a queen."
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"Dish. Who else would you get all tangled up with if there were no issues?"
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"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
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"And? I would totally do Steve, too."
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He puts a hand on her shoulder. "What choices do you feel have not been right?"
cw drug reference
"Maybe it's more being afraid all the time. And jumping around, into things, out of things, because of that."
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But seeing her in that dress, looking exactly as beautiful as he's always imagined her, breaks that. He grins.
"Oh, Annie," he breathes. "You look exquisite." He stands up, blanket wrapped around him, and can't help but reach out to touch it. "It's beautiful."
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