"Bobo is gone,"she sighs, head on his shoulder. "I swear to God my next barge stay needs to be somewhere with more straight guys. This place is nice, I don't hate being here, but a normal cruise would have me having more anonymous sex in closets."
"He liked public sex,"she laughs, and because her head is hurting still she sinks down so her head is on his lap. "So I figure that would've been a good compromise."
She nudges his hand with her head; more pets, please. "What's Quentin like?"
His first thought is, of course Jedao, but he's not sure if that's true any longer. Jedao's been out for so long that he's not sure if he would want that any longer.
"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
He laughs, deep in his chest. "And I do not wish to make things complicated for you," he admits. "I think we made this decision for each other without actually talking it through. Normally, we are better in step."
Godric grins. "I'm certain he would think us both mad for admitting that aloud," he tells her. "But I have been enamored with him since I first met him. I realized very early on that it would never work. But he is rather handsome."
"In another universe, we could have been his very first threesome," she muses. "He's really hot. And he's just been so good to me. Good for me, since I was demoted. I don't think I'd be as okay as I am now if he hadn't reached out."
"I am relieved to hear that," he admits. "I was so frightened when you were demoted that you would be ostracized. Or that no one would understand. It is a relief to know otherwise. That you are welcomed. Loved. Embraced."
"I thought I would be, too. But weirdly? I was a little mad when no one else was." Which is why she'd asked Sweeney to punch her a few dozen times. "I'm past that now. I think I can get better. Better than I was, I mean."
"Better than you were," he repeats, thoughtfully. "That's all I ask, Annie. You know that, don't you? That you are simply better than you were. That you make the choices you need."
"It feels like a lot of the time I make the wrong choices." She turns onto her back, looking up at him, and the ceiling. "Do I seem better than I was though? A little?"
She thinks about that. "I broke down when Sariss was training me. But..." She should not feel any pride about this next part but, "I did fight back against mind controlled B. I tried to help us. You. And that's more than what I've done before."
"I know," he tells her, not wanting to relive that memory. "And I think that's good. That you did that. That you fought when you wouldn't have before. That was a good decision."
"You don't need to distract me from sad memories, Annie," he tells her. "Sit up, sit with me a moment. Let me live in them for a while. It's the only way to learn from them."
She does, holding onto him lightly against the mild dizziness she still has. "I've never been very good at that. Just letting the bad memories be bad," she confesses, so she watches him, sits with him, listens.
"I have to set the stage first, okay, so. I've been saving it for something special. It's a gown--a real gown. I never wore one before. I never even tried one on before. She made it with magic and rose petals."
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She nudges his hand with her head; more pets, please. "What's Quentin like?"
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"Q?" He smiles fondly. "He likes being hunted."
He leans back, watching the ceiling. "Letting me be a predator. But we talk. There's friendship above all. Attraction, yes. But friendship."
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"Dish. Who else would you get all tangled up with if there were no issues?"
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"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
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"And? I would totally do Steve, too."
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He puts a hand on her shoulder. "What choices do you feel have not been right?"
cw drug reference
"Maybe it's more being afraid all the time. And jumping around, into things, out of things, because of that."
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