"I've never seen a wolf who didn't learn to curb it. But I know there are some--but they die fast. Get shot, or the pack kills them to protect everyone else." Annie, it goes without saying, would never kill a packmate no matter how much trouble they were.
"Eric learned it, though, right? I mean, he didn't kill me when he found out I was a wolf, and that seems like pretty good control."
"Eric was difficult," he admits. "He was headstrong, but our bond was strong, right from the start. He listened to me, learned from me. It helped that there was no pack. There were no people, no distractions. It was simply us."
"What's it like when you do learn control? Do you just mellow out or do you still want to run around?" A soft laugh. "I always surfed a lot but after I had to learn not to chase cars and stuff," does she mean that literally? impossible to tell. "I surfed a lot so I wouldn't get stir crazy."
There's a short laugh at the image of her chasing cars because, of course.
"No," he says softly. "There is always the urge. Even now, I want to chase. Tear. Hunt." He lowers his voice, as if there was someone else in the room. "It is something that I do behind closed doors with people I trust and who trust me in return. But control is simply understanding that everything I do is a choice. And that I am in control enough to make a choice."
"I never thought of it that way." She tends to think in vivid, riotous emotions rather than words. Everything in her world is a sensation rather than a sentence.
"But that's how it really is, huh? Having all those thoughts and wants, and knowing when to get them. And when to not. I think I've learned more about that since knowing you than I did my whole life before."
"I have, my entire life, focused on control. Whether it was a lack of it or, now, a choice to keep it." He looks up. "But losing control is - well, we cannot deny ourselves that. Vampires. Werewolves. That is a part of who we are. We must find appropriate outlets for it."
He laughs. "Have I ever told you about the first time Archer and I slept together?" he wonders. Godric doesn't tend to kiss and tell about Archer, but he has no secrets with Annie.
He looks up. "We had kissed, nothing more. I was trusting him to take the lead, as he had more reservations than me." For reasons he won't get into.
"But I came upon him in the Enclosure once, fighting a dragon." He knows how it sounds. "But Annie, he was glorious. Beautiful. It was - " He lets out a breath. "I had never seen anything like it. We kissed, but there was a difference to it. His walls were down. He had been in control but also - not. I went to his room and - " He shrugs, deciding that he doesn't actually need to go into details.
Except -
"He heals very quickly, which works to our advantage."
"More than Quentin does. With Archer, there's blood. There's always blood." He reaches over, trailing a hand along her neck. "There, to take." Along her shoulders. "There, to make it hurt."
He playfully runs his hand down her sides, tickling her lightly again. "And that's all you get to know about that, nosy pup."
"Well! I don't know Archers life! Maybe he's had a hip replaced!"
She climbs into his lap, her eyes still dancing, but for real: "He's lucky to have you. I think he was probably alone for a long time. Really alone not just physically alone. I'm glad you guys get to do all the kinky things."
"Bobo is gone,"she sighs, head on his shoulder. "I swear to God my next barge stay needs to be somewhere with more straight guys. This place is nice, I don't hate being here, but a normal cruise would have me having more anonymous sex in closets."
"He liked public sex,"she laughs, and because her head is hurting still she sinks down so her head is on his lap. "So I figure that would've been a good compromise."
She nudges his hand with her head; more pets, please. "What's Quentin like?"
His first thought is, of course Jedao, but he's not sure if that's true any longer. Jedao's been out for so long that he's not sure if he would want that any longer.
"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
He laughs, deep in his chest. "And I do not wish to make things complicated for you," he admits. "I think we made this decision for each other without actually talking it through. Normally, we are better in step."
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"Control is the first thing they need to learn, yes. Vampires, I mean. Some of them never learn it. There's no play with them. Only hunting."
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"Eric learned it, though, right? I mean, he didn't kill me when he found out I was a wolf, and that seems like pretty good control."
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"No," he says softly. "There is always the urge. Even now, I want to chase. Tear. Hunt." He lowers his voice, as if there was someone else in the room. "It is something that I do behind closed doors with people I trust and who trust me in return. But control is simply understanding that everything I do is a choice. And that I am in control enough to make a choice."
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"But that's how it really is, huh? Having all those thoughts and wants, and knowing when to get them. And when to not. I think I've learned more about that since knowing you than I did my whole life before."
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He laughs. "Have I ever told you about the first time Archer and I slept together?" he wonders. Godric doesn't tend to kiss and tell about Archer, but he has no secrets with Annie.
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"But I came upon him in the Enclosure once, fighting a dragon." He knows how it sounds. "But Annie, he was glorious. Beautiful. It was - " He lets out a breath. "I had never seen anything like it. We kissed, but there was a difference to it. His walls were down. He had been in control but also - not. I went to his room and - " He shrugs, deciding that he doesn't actually need to go into details.
Except -
"He heals very quickly, which works to our advantage."
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"Okay but what kind of healing did he have to do?"
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"More than Quentin does. With Archer, there's blood. There's always blood." He reaches over, trailing a hand along her neck. "There, to take." Along her shoulders. "There, to make it hurt."
He playfully runs his hand down her sides, tickling her lightly again. "And that's all you get to know about that, nosy pup."
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"N-no, of course-" she can't breathe, Godric.
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"Then what would you expect? Go on. I want to know. Considering you have first hand experience."
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She climbs into his lap, her eyes still dancing, but for real: "He's lucky to have you. I think he was probably alone for a long time. Really alone not just physically alone. I'm glad you guys get to do all the kinky things."
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He pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her.
"And you should have an outlet, too. Not, necessarily in the same way, but I am glad that you are changing again."
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She nudges his hand with her head; more pets, please. "What's Quentin like?"
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"Q?" He smiles fondly. "He likes being hunted."
He leans back, watching the ceiling. "Letting me be a predator. But we talk. There's friendship above all. Attraction, yes. But friendship."
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"Dish. Who else would you get all tangled up with if there were no issues?"
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"Honestly?" he mutters. "If there were no issues? Steve. And you?"
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cw drug reference
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