"I'm sorry," she breathes, remembering the way he'd looked at her that first night when she was so close she didn't recognize that shift of personality until later. "I'm...I'm the worst person to have for a first."

It's not her looking for reassurance. She is, objectively, a terrible choice for a first partner: non-monogamous, casual, confusing. "Your first should have been with someone you love and trust."