"Keep going. It's not too bad." She licks her lips. "Okay so, there was a school called Wayside. It was, uhm, thirteen stories high. But no one knew what happened to the twelfth. And it swayed a lot. Like the tower in Italy.

"The substitute teacher walks in and the kids just know there's something off about her. But kids, they're kids, so they test her. They don't sit down when told. She tells them, do what I fucking say or you'll regret it.

"And Joe ignores her and she wiggles her nose, and pulls her ear, and poof. He turns into a potato."