"Once upon a time there was an old couple, and one was hungry and one was lonely. So the wife made them a little man made out of stinky cheese. She made his face out of olives and bacon." Deep breath. "And the cheeseman came alive in the oven and he leaped out when she opened the door, but the smell knocked her on her ass.

"The cheeseman dared them to catch him but since the smell knocked them gagging no one chased him. He ran across a cow, and the cow decided none of its three stomachs could handle it. ...Cows have more than one stomach.

"And then he met a fox, because there's always a fox in stories. And he needed to get to the other side of the river so he asked for a ride and the fox said, sure, in a deeply suspicious sounding voice. I'll take you safe across the river."